Pyro and the Pink Squirrel of Doom!
by rogue-scholar07
Summary: outtake from Mutants in MAgix. Got lots of questions about Pyro's pink squirrel, so I wrote a story about it! Tell me if I should write another chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! Here's another one or two chapter fic from yours truly. I got a few reviews asking about a chapter I wrote mentioning a pink squirrel, and decided to elaborate. It is kind of a sequel to StJohn the Persistant and a way to finish off Pyro and Lilith's double date with Tro and Emer. The italics are part of a flashback. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I were paid for every sentence written in these fanfictions, I'd probably be as rich as some actors, but without the plastic surgery.**

**Dedication: Thank you to those of you who asked me about the squirrel. I've needed a good oneshot.**

**Pyro and the Pink Squirrel of Doom!**

"This is great!" Pietro exclaimed. "I love the park after dark. There's no one to stop me."

"It is lovely." Emer nodded.

"And that pink squirrel is nowhere to be seen!" John shouted. "Hiding no doubt."

"As long as he leaves us alone, I don't care." Lilith put in. "I like you better without bite marks."

"Could somebody please explain this squirrel business to me?" Pietro asked. "I'm feeling a little lost."

"I haven't heard about it either." Emer cast the pyro-obsessed couple an inquizitive look. "Care to share?"

"Let's find a place to sit first." Lilith said. The four walked a little farther on until they came to a covered pavilion with picnic tables underneath it.

"Okay, we're sitting. Story time!" Pietro shouted.

"Fine!" John exclaimed. "It started back on our first date…"

XXXXXXXXXXX

"_Isn't this nice?" John smiled. "A lovely evening in the park, a picnic lunch, and you by my side! I could just sing!"_

"_Please don't." Lilith said sharply. "I only came here so you would stop setting Miss G's shrubs on fire."_

"_I'm in love." He grinned._

"_What have I gotten myself into?" Lilith groaned. Suddenly, John got up and scampered over to a tree. "And what the hells are you doing, Pyrex?" _

"_Ssssssssshhhhh!" He called back. "There's a pink squirrel!"_

"_So?" She asked._

"_I want to talk to it!" The Aussie stated. "Can I? Can I please, please?"_

"_Fine." Lilith sighed. "You can try to talk to the pink squirrel."_

"_Yay!" Pyro shouted. He bounded over to the creature, and the fire witch watched with mild curiosity. He slowy inched up on the animal and made clicking noises with his tongue. The squirrel shot him a dirty look._

"_I don't think it likes you, Pyrex!" Lilith commented._

"_Quiet!" John shushed. "I'm trying to make first contact!"_

"_Whatever." The blond rolled her eyes as John continued to chatter at the squirrel, inching ever closer. Apparently, he was too close, because the squirrel scampered up, bit him, and scurried up the tree._

"_Yeow!!!!!!" The fire-headed boy shouted._

"_Told you!" Lili giggled._

"_That's not funny!" _

"_Yes it is." _

"_I'll have my vengeance!" The boy shouted as he stomped under the squirrel. "Okay, ya li'l bugger! Come down here and fight like a man!"_

_The squirrel clucked back to John, who in turn shouted "Why you naughty little anklebiter!" and began to climb the tree. _

"_Oh no." Lilith groaned. "John! Get back here!"_

"_Not until I get my paws on him!" John shouted back. "That rodent is mine!"_

"_Allerdyce!" Lilith shouted, but it was no use. John was already up the tree and chasing the pink rodent. _

"_Gotcha!" John shouted as he reached out and grabbed the furry fiend. The squirrel, for the record, chomped down on his hand. "Owwww!!! Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!" John shouted as he lost his balance, released his hold on the squirrel, and fell out of the tree._

"_Oh gods!" Lilith gasped, running over to her date. "John! John, are you okay?" _

"_Mommy." He slurred. _

"_Okay, that's it." The blue-eyed Solarian growled. "Hey! Fur- face! What gives you the right to bite my date?"_

_The squirrel chattered for a few seconds, and Lilith fumed. "Take that back!" She shouted, sending a small fireball at the rodent, who cussed a little more as he clamored out of the way. "Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it?" She shouted. "Now shoo! Shoo!" _

_The squirrel shouted something, then scrambled higher up the tree. Lilith made sure he was too far away to do any harm, and returned to John's side._

XXXXXXXXXX

"And that's the deal with the pink squirrel." John said. "There's no more to it!"

"Pyrex is right." Lilith agreed. "That's as accurate as it gets."

"Just like my sheila's aim with a fireball." John crowed.

"That's strange, even for us." Emer blinked.

"Yeah, Pyro, you sure you'r not just making it up?" Pietro asked.

"I'm not, I swear!" John exclaimed.

"Let's get going." Lilith interjected before the disagreement became a full-fledged fight. "We'll be in big trouble if we're not back by curfew."

"Sounds good." Emer said. "Let's go."

"Fine." The silver-haired speedster conceeded. "We can go home."

"I just want my sheila to be happy." John smiled at the Solarian blond as he draped his arm over over her shoulders.

"Smart man." Lilith grinned. "Now let's move."


	2. Second Encounters

**A/N: Okay, I lied, I've added a chapter. So sue me!**

**Disclaimer: I think we have the whole ownage thing settled by now, don't we?**

**Pyro and the Pink Squirrel of Doom**

_Chapter two: _**Second Encounters**

The double-daters were half way across the park when something caught John's eye.

"It's him!" He hissed, whirling on his heels.

"Who?" Pietro asked.

"Oh no!" Lilith groaned. "Please tell me he's not back!"

"Who's back?" Pietro looked around. "I don't see anything!"

"I'll get you this time, Pinkerton!" Pyro shouted as he bolted off to a nearby tree. Upon trying to scale it, swearing and chattering emitted from the branches.

"That damn squirrel!" the fire witch hissed.

"You mean it does exist?" Emer blinked. "Now there's a shock."

"I gotta see this!" Pietro exclaimed, zooping over and up the tree.

"You're gonna regret…" Lil started.

"Yeowch! My hand!" The silver-haired speedster shouted.

"It." Lilith groaned. "Come on, Em."

"What are we doing?" The teal eyed girl asked as the Solarian blond dragged her across the park.

"We're rescuing our dates." Lilith declared.

"Do I have to?" Emer asked as Lil came to a stop.

"Yes." The blond witch nodded. "Now mind your aim. We don't want to hit them this time."

"Fine." The ice-haired girl sighed. She and Lilith both raised their hands and sent bolts of blue and red energy into the tree. The squirrel landed at their feet with a thump, as did their dates.

"Ow!" Pietro moaned as he rubbed his behind.

"Next time, Pyrex, just leave the damn squirrel alone!" Lilith shouted as the rodent scurried away.

"Sorry luv." The red-headed Aussie grinned sheepishly. "Ow. That kinda hurt."

"Why don't we just head back to the dorms?" Emer said.

"Great idea." Pietro said. "Let's go!"

"Wow." StJohn blinked. "They're actually getting along now. How 'bout that?"

"I say we just get back to CT before Professor Gryffin tears our heads off." Lil shrugged.

"That works too." Pyro smiled, wrapping his arm around his date as they walked a few feet behind Pietro and Emer. All four heading back to their rooms for the night.

**What do you think? I am stopping here, but don't worry. I'll have more madness for your enjoyment soon.**


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